It’s almost the end of the year and the holiday season is around corner. While the holidays are an exciting and happy time for many, it’s important to remember that the holidays can be a very stressful time for a lot of parents.
The holidays can bring an increased sense of family responsibility and along with it, additional feelings of stress. The American Psychological Association notes that, “Advertisements about the joys of the season can seem lost on us as we scurry around trying to do even more than usual. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed.”
There are many changes during the holidays which can lead to an increase in conflict such as:
- kids being out of school
- a lack of routine and structure
- more screentime and down time
There are also inherent challenges with traveling, especially with young children and for parents that have children with different support needs. What steps can parents take to create a manageable and enjoyable holiday season with less stress? How can they develop resilience in this exciting but exhausting, chaotic and frantic season? Below are some tips to support families during the holidays.
1. Create a Structured Schedule for the Holidays
Having a structured schedule while out of school could be helpful as children know what to expect and it’s easier to manage schedules during the busy holiday season.
For example, having a regular morning routine (e.g., wake up at similar time, eat breakfast) or scheduling activities such as doing online academic material for 1 hour in the morning can keep structure to the day.
2. Set Expectations for Screentime
It’s important for parents to set clear expectations about screentime per day. For example, one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon might be reasonable.
Setting boundaries and expectations around devices during the holidays reduces conflict and supports children and teens in creating healthy habits with online activities.
3. Plan for Additional Support
Look ahead and find ways to get the support you need. That may mean arranging extra childcare, taking time off of work, or just making time to unwind and chat with a friend.
Be sure to anticipate time for those holiday-specific needs, too, like:
- shopping for gifts
- cooking and baking
- volunteering
- visiting friends and family
This helps shift the focus from obligations and tasks to enjoyable experiences and positive anticipation.
4. Identify Triggers and Make a Plan
To lessen the impact of the main contributing factors of stress, identify triggers and make a plan. For example, schedule your travel for one day earlier which may help kids adjust to the change in schedule.
When kids have lots of unstructured downtime, do they tend to engage in challenging behaviors (seeking attention) or sibling fights? Does the disruption to a bedtime routine due to travel create meltdowns? Are hosting duties completely overwhelming? Or is it the first holiday without a loved one?
These are some questions worth asking to predict the triggers and factors connected to the holiday season.
5. Create an Environment that Fosters Collaboration
To reduce conflict over the holidays, consider creating an “empty jar with pompoms project.”
- First, get an empty jar and pompoms.
- Next, give children clear expectations to follow such as “sharing a toy,” “waiting for a turn,” or “using kind words.”
- Whenever the child(ren) meet those expectations, give them one pompom with a specific praise phrase such as, “Thank you for using kind words to your younger brother.”
- Once the jar’s filled with pompoms, they can all then earn the reward together.
6. Be Aware of Your Body Signals and Feelings
It is also important to listen to one’s body and recognize physical reactions to stress, as there can be indicators to take a step back and address the underlying emotions. By planning and employing healthy stress management techniques, it’s possible to enjoy the holiday season with more cheer and less stress.
Remember, every family’s situation is unique, and finding what works best for your family is key to managing holiday stress effectively. Holidays can evoke feelings of sadness and grief, especially for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one or are separated from them. These emotions are a natural response to the season. It’s important to allow one’s self to feel and find a person to share those feelings with rather than being alone.
Remember, every family’s situation is unique, and finding what works best for your family is key to managing holiday stress effectively.
7. Connect With Family, Friends, and Community
There are lots of opportunities to connect with others through social, community or religious events. Connecting with others online can be beneficial during the holidays such as:
- community websites
- employee assistance program (EAP)
- online support groups
- through local community gatherings
- social media
Often, the act of helping others provides a sense of purpose and can be a powerful way to support our own well-being. Try volunteering your time or finding ways to be of service. It could be as simple as delivering a home-cooked meal, helping out at a food pantry, or baking holiday treats for someone who could use it.
It’s important to remember that experiencing “holiday joy” constantly is an unrealistic expectation. Change is natural and inevitable, and it’s normal for families to think about the past or long for how things were. Do your best embracing the opportunity to create new traditions, especially when circumstances change.
For instance, if distance prevents gathering in person, consider scheduling a virtual celebration with loved ones via video call.
8. Give Yourself a Break
Amidst the holiday rush, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care, even for those who revel in the excitement. Carving out just 15 minutes of solitude each day can provide a much-needed respite. Engaging in stress-reducing activities can help clear your mind, promote relaxation, and restore inner peace, such as:
- daily walk
- enjoying the fresh air
- taking a scenic drive to admire holiday lights
- play a favorite song or album
- listen to a new podcast
- seek professional mental health support if needed
Need More Ideas or Help?
Here are some additional helpful resources:
How Parents Can Manage Holiday Stress | Psychology Today
Help Your Employees Thrive Through Holiday Stress (Webinar)
Presence Not Presents
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