Discovering your authentic self can feel daunting, especially when so much of what we believe about ourselves is shaped by societal expectations and early influences. Over time, we tend to internalize others’ ideas about who we “should” be, making it difficult to step back and separate ourselves from these ingrained beliefs that may limit us. Moreover, relying on self-reflection alone can sometimes reinforce our ingrained beliefs, leaving little room for growth or new experiences.
Instead, view self-discovery as a process of playful:
- exploration
- creation
- iteration
By trying out different ways of being, you can explore yourself without the pressure of “getting it right” or achieving a specific result. This approach allows you to bring out facets of your personality that you feel need more expression, helping you build a sense of authenticity that truly reflects who you are.
Here are four strategies for discovering your authentic self through playful exploration.
1) Experiment With Different Ways of Being
Authenticity isn’t a fixed attribute. It’s a journey of continuous evolution. Rather than striving for a static, predefined identity, view yourself as someone who adapts and grows over time. Reflect on moments in your life when you’ve taken on different roles depending on the situation, whether it was:
- at work
- with family
- among friends
These experiences often reveal traits and talents you may not have fully recognized or acknowledged.
For instance, if you’re typically reserved but feel a desire to connect more with others, try experimenting with being more outgoing and confident in low-stakes settings. Although it may feel unfamiliar at first, this type of exploration can help you uncover aspects of yourself that may have been long dormant yet align with your values. Embrace the learning process and allow yourself the grace to stay flexible and open to new possibilities.
2) Draw Inspiration From Others
A common barrier to discovering new aspects of ourselves is the fear of appearing inauthentic or “fake.” However, authenticity doesn’t require you to remain fixed in a single way of being. We all draw inspiration from others who embody qualities we admire, and these influences can help shape our own characteristics and behaviors over time.
Observe people you admire or those in job roles you aspire to. Reflect on the qualities in them that resonate with you, such as their:
- confidence
- kindness
- resilience
Try embodying these qualities in ways that feel natural to you. This process isn’t about imitation. It’s about exploring different approaches to self-expression and creating a personal “collage” of qualities that reflect your values.
We all draw inspiration from others who embody qualities we admire, and these influences can help shape our own characteristics and behaviors over time.
3) Cultivate a Growth-Oriented Mindset
Fear of failure can often hold us back from developing new habits or pursuing our goals. Many people hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to protect an established self-image. However, adopting a mindset that values learning and growth over perfection can shift your perspective, fostering a sense of curiosity rather than fear.
With this mindset, you’ll feel more open to experimenting and taking risks. For example, if you tend to hold back in group discussions, try sharing your thoughts more confidently. Even if it feels uncomfortable or you hesitate, remember that thoughts are just thoughts. Moving through this process can uncover valuable insights and help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
4) Reframe Your Personal Narrative
The stories we tell ourselves about who we are often shape our self-concept and can hold us back from becoming who we’re meant to be. However, these narratives aren’t fixed. As you grow, revisiting the story of your life can help you embrace a more empowering view of yourself.
Reflect on defining moments in your life when you adapted to new situations or discovered hidden strengths. These experiences add depth to your self-image, allowing you to see yourself as an evolving individual. Rewriting your story doesn’t mean disregarding the past. It’s about integrating these experiences into a healthier perspective and broadening your understanding of yourself in a more meaningful way.
Start Your Playful Journey to Your Authentic You
All in all, discovering your authentic self involves staying open to new possibilities and allowing yourself to be curious.
By experimenting with different ways of being, drawing inspiration from others, cultivating a growth-oriented mindset, and reframing your personal narrative, you can create a self-concept that is dynamic, flexible, and aligned with your values.
Learn more:
Reference:
Ibarra, H. (2018, May). What does it really mean for leaders to be authentic? [Video]. TED.
